Are You Settling In Your Relationship?
Relationships are something we all want. The question is, are you willing to wait for the right person to come along or are you willing to make it work with whomever? You ever date someone that has it all together on the outside, but missing some key components on the inside? Or you find yourself having to justify why you're in the relationship? Yeah, that's called settling. I'm guilty of it. We all are! Every now and then I find myself walking the line of wanting one and then not and in doing that, I find myself trying to force something that I ultimately don’t want.
If you think about it, settling can become second nature because relationships are plastered everywhere. You see them on tv, when you’re out and about, as well as in books and music. Everywhere you turn you see some form of a relationship and without noticing it, you begin to desire it a just a little bit more.
Relationships aren't easy, and by no means am I an expert, but I've witnessed enough to know what they should be like. I've also dated enough to know that the dynamics of each relationship are different. Sometimes you can have absolutely nothing in common and it just works, and other times it doesn't. Lately I find myself asking, "Do we have similar goals?" or "How does their lifestyle compare to mine?". Sometimes you may not notice you're settling because you're caught up in the image of being someone's significant other and trying to uphold an image can be very detrimental. The last thing you want to do is waste someone's time and yours, but at other times it’s pretty obvious when you have the, "I'll take what I can get" mindset.
A lot of people settle based on the fact that people in their inner circle may be in relationships or starting families. I know that's how I feel every now and then because a majority of my closest friends are in relationships or have families of their own. Sometimes it's based off of FOMO (fear of missing out), you catch yourself beginning to wonder, "Well if I took that person a little more seriously I could be in a relationship and have my own family". Keeping that mindset will ultimately cause you to put yourself in a relationship where you're settling.
Let's be honest, dating is hard and that alone is reason enough to settle. You ever hear yourself saying, "Well they're really nice…", yeah you don't like them!
Another reason people settle in relationships is a fear of being alone. People often overlook the beauty in being alone. In that time you are able to really grow as an individual. You can also learn more about yourself if you steward that time well. You will learn what it is you like and don’t like. What you will put up with and what you won’t. Don't be a serial dater because they're usually in a relationship they settled for, as they have an underlying fear of being alone.
Do you find yourself making all the sacrifices in the relationship? Compromising is one thing you can't always have it your way, but if you are constantly making the sacrifices you're most likely settling. If you find yourself trying to change the person you’re dating, chances are you settled. You shouldn’t have to mold somebody into something else. You should like them for who they are and what they bring to the table.
Try taking some time out of your day and reflect on how you may have acted in the past or your current relationships. If you think about it there are so many ways we can settle not even just relationships, but with our careers as well. Lets make a deal no more settling from here on out. We deserve to have everything we want and then some, so why settle for less?
Until next time, Paige