What 27 Taught Me

Am I the only person that gets anxiety around their birthday? Like I'm another year older and not really sure what I've accomplished?? I tend to judge everything I did in the past year, and end up critiquing myself really hard. 

A few days prior to my birthday I looked at my vision board to see what I had accomplished or at least began working on, considering  there’s only 4 months left in the year. The self care part of my board really spoke to me, and this is why… After my birthday last year I basically went underground. I stopped going out as much, stopped going to brunch (and you know I love a good brunch). I became a homebody, something about me was off. I wasn't the same fun and vibrant Paige that I used to be.  And I got that confirmation a month later when I went to Cancun for one of my best friends 30th birthday and I had a mental breakdown in the bathroom at the resort.

So after that trip I isolated myself from the world. I assumed if I could just take a break from the social scene and just rest for a while I would get back to my normal self. So I did just that. I needed to get control of my mental and emotional well-being. While in my isolation stage, I wrote down a few things that make me feel good and that I can do on my own. I ended up creating a weekly routine. I had dedicated days where I would do facials and treatments for my hair (because who doesn't like moisturized skin and deep conditioned hair?). Days where I would cook, and write in my journal for a certain amount of time. I even started doing devotionals with one of my friends. I loved my routine, it was therapeutic for me. I even started going to therapy so I could talk through my feelings, learn my triggers and get guidance on how to control them.

Looking back I realized I wasn’t showing up for myself at all. I learned the hard way that I have to take care of myself on the inside in order to shine on the outside. I started saying "no" more, I stopped answering certain peoples calls/texts, and I had to tell myself that I didn’t need to be out and about to have a good time. Its okay to sit in the house and watch tv, or read a book, or just rest. Taking time out for yourself is a priority! The thing about self care is that it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time. Its been 12 months for me and I'm still working on it. Am I in a better place? Yes! Do I still have a long way to go? Yes! Do I have days where I just want to crawl under a rock and stay there? Hell yeah! But again, it takes time.

So if 27 taught me anything, it’s to be patient with myself and to make me a priority. It's to pay attention to my emotions and keep healthy boundaries for my mental well-being. And it's continuing to show up for myself every single day. So if you haven’t lately, I challenge you just take some time for yourself. You never know how bad you might need it.

See you next week, Paige Worthington